Eating at Work

[Collin]

We are a mechanical contractor that operates out of a retail store front. Today we rolled out the green indoor outdoor carpet over two parking spaces, set up the patio heater, patio fire, a canopy (might rain), and a couple of lawn chairs. Next we fire up our brand new stainless steel Envirogrill barbecue and do a rotisserie with a beautiful baron of beef roast. We then fire up a Vermont Castings barbecue and use it's oven burner to bake a spring salmon that our new sales guy caught. Didn't sell a barbecue but we sure ate like champs. Now if I could only get cable hooked up for that TV above the fireplace......

[Pegleg Smith]

Well now I am heartsick over this. You didn't invite any of us to your party. And it was St. Patrict's day and all. Did you have any beer to go with that beef? Sounds like you guys had a good day.
I imagine you still have a bunch of snow on the ground, don't you? Your countrymen are still populating my town. Yesterday was in the 80's all sunny and warm.
It was a great day considering.
I cooked a corned beef and cabbage, with cock-a-leekie soup for dinner. A couple of Guiness's extra stout and some Bailey's Irish Cream and the day ended without incident. Pretty nice day all told. Thepool can be repaired I've been told, according to that expert on all things, my wife.

[maverick]

I'm really heartsick. I had to dress up for a neighbors' daughters' wedding. My wedding/funeral shoes were tight as hell. Oh Well, there was an open bar at the reception although the only beer they had was MillerLite.

[Collin]

Actually Pegleg, Victoria has some of the mildest weather in all of Canada. Last week we hit 16 degrees Celsius or 60 farenheit. Sorry about the no invite, bad form for a new guy, so consider this an invitation if you guys are in the area. You had a better choice of beverages than us, being at work, coffee was what we had. But I think I'd prefer that over Lite beer, good thing it was free Maverick!

[JohnnyB]

Hay Collin, Whats slowpitch and curling?

[Collin]

Slowpitch is like baseball except it's played by guys who have slowed down due to injuries or passing the age of 30. During and after the game cold beers are consumed.
Curling is a sport played on ice with 4 guys per team where you throw 40 lb granite rocks down the ice trying to get as close to "the button as possible". The Skip (kind of like the boss) will scream at you to sweep the ice in front of the rock to make it travel farther. After the game you go up to the bar to drink beer and smoke.

[Druid]

It twas a grand feed indeed. Me good friend the Pegleg, do be setten a fine table on the saint Paddy's day. Me belly be still be tight and me head still swims. But do be tellin laddy. Why did ye make for your bed so early?
Not as young as ye once were, eh?

[Collin]

Got a griddle for the barbecue. Cooked up some hash browns, ham and eggs today. Since people see me cooking in front of the store, I figure the food cost is tax deductible.
So I incur costs of about $ 4000.00 a month for store overhead and a secretary. I save $ 7.00 for breakfast.
Am I smart or what?

[Pegleg Smith]

pretty soon the health department will be asking to inspect your restaurant. You'll have people lined up waiting to get fed for free. Another tax deduction, or guinea pigs

[Breeze]

that wouldnt allow eating in truck, drinking etc.
Now I have gained weight working for my self.

[Pegleg Smith]

I used to get around a lot better in attics and cramped spaces. I used to fit in the booths at the local diner. Things have gotten smaller since I have gotten older except my belly which has done lapped over my belt. But I am working on it! I am trying to lose the extra weight. I need to look sharp when I am out there giving the final honors to our vets. If I was 30 years younger I would still be at my fighting weight and still be wearing 32" waist trousers. Time mellows everything. It swells it up to. Now all I have to do is get some viagra....

[JohnnyB]

I have this vision of the Bob and Doug McKenzie's from the "Great White North". What was that Saturday Night Live or SCTV, I can't remember? Do you have one of those green camper stove thingy with some back bacon and a bunch of Moose Head beers? Tooks and "OK-EH".

[Collin]

Johnny B:
It's actually a fully loaded stainless steel job. Go big or go home.
Nothing like Canadian back bacon eh?
It was SCTV, Bob & Doug are my heros.
But I don't wear a touque.
And we have great beer!

[Collin]

55 year old woman tries to park in front of store. As she wheels into parking space ( you guessed it) she hits the gas instead of the brake. Screeching tires onto the sidewalk and BAM! into our stainless barbecue. That grill was such a tough bastard that it stopped the car from going into the store. Desroyed the left and right shelves and compacted the cart a little. Smashed a 5'x6' pane of glass, sent the glass flying halfway across the store. I'm gonna miss that grill, never did anything but fulfill our hunger requirements.
It was so young.

[Guest1]

Aint that the way it goes. Some woman nearly kills you and takes out a beloved family member while trying to get a free hot dog.

[JohnnyB]

Vehicular homicide of your grill!

[Guest1]

Maybe it was a merciful thing. She probably weighed 400 pds. and would have eaten all the profits for the next month.

[Pegleg Smith]

Damn, I'm glad that lady went back to Canada. She was down here destroying store fronts this winter. Good to see the snowbirds are returning home. Should have seen the poor SOB that runs the local tackle shop[. He had a person drive through his old store front so he moved into a strip center to be safer. Less than a month in the new building someone drives through the store again. Lots of material for jokes here. Poor guy is so frightened he closes up shop and moves out of town. Fiqured his time was coming when he would be run down by someone.

[Collin]

It has now been 23 hours since Peglegs mother in law drove into our store. No sign of the adjuster yet.
Why do I feel like we are going to get screwed on this?